My Story
by Emobitch1996
Summary: This isn't a typical high school romance. This is a story about heartbreaks. About lost friendships which were supposed to last forever. About finally opening your eyes and seeing that not everything is what it seems like. About how much rejection actually hurts. My name is Bella Swan and this is MY STORY
1. Prologue

Prologue

This isn't a typical high school romance. This is a story about heartbreaks. About lost friendships which were supposed to last forever. About how letting the wrong people in your life can ruin all you created. About how a boy can change you. About how YOU can be so desperate for a guy to like you, that you are willing to change yourself. About how family is more important than friends. About how an exaggerated truth can ruin everything you spent so hard on creating. About realising how everything that happens ACTUALLY happens for the better. About how you are gonna find some people who will be there for you no matter what. About how inner beauty is what counts. About staying up crying every night while playing Rascal Flatts 'what hurts the most' and going to school with a smile on your face. About sneaking glances at that someone and wondering what you're lacking. About laughing with him in the bus and realising how perfect he is and that'll you'll never have him. About finally opening your eyes and seeing that not everything is what it seems like. About how much rejection actually hurts. About how you feel it's the end of the world when it's not. About screwing up your exams for someone who doesn't even deserve it. About how it feels to face rejection. My name is Bella swan and this is my story.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

To be honest, I don't even know when it started. Was it when I saw him for the first time and thought to myself _'who the fuck is THAT moron?'_. He was blocking my view of the chart and I asked my friend Angela about who he was. 'Edward Cullen, of course.' I didn't think of him much except how he was a moron. This all happened in grade 9, he was new in school and was instantly befriended by an all-boys group of Riley, Ben, Jacob, Mike, Tyler, Matt_._ I didn't think of him much. I only saw him when my friend Angela dragged me and Sarah to stalk Ben. She stalked him crazily, and trust me, he stalked her too. They both were like magnets. She moved, he moved; their eyes finding each other within seconds even if they were in a crowded room. My friend Sarah knew Tyler as he came in her bus and were pretty good friends. I wanted both of them to get together as they both were so perfect for each other, having known each other since the age of 4. But Sarah had some other plans. She wanted me and Tyler to get together but I was strongly against it, sure he was cute as fuck but I KNEW Sarah and him would be good for each other.

Anyway, back to Edward Cullen. I never thought of him like that. Well, it's not like he was awfully good looking or something. He was athletic, sure and could do push-ups with the ease of walking, or breathing even, but he was always around my height, not giving a damn about washing his hair, let alone comb them.

It's not like I care about looks. I didn't then, and I still don't. I didn't even know that he existed back then, I only knew him because of that one incident which made me think about how much of an ass Ben is. My friend Angela liked Ben, and that only happened because Ben liked her since grade 7th and made he a card for her birthday, got her a teddy and baked a cake for her. It was incredibly sweet of him and it was the gesture which made Angela even consider him as someone. The reason Angela was a little wary about it was because Ben stuttered, I know, it was an absolutely terrible reason for shooting somebody down but that's the way she was, hell, still is. But Ben made her fall for him with his shy ways and cute stuttering.

When she actually started liking him, Ben asked her to, and I quote **''stop stalking me and staring in my class. I don't know why I liked you. I mean you are so friggin' annoying and shit.''** He is an ass. I've never seen Angela cry and trust me, It's not pretty. He led her on and broke her heart in front a the whole batch. Apparently, that's what their group does. Then Sarah and I went to Ben and we bashed him like anything for breaking our best friend's heart. I mean, who does that? It was so mean of him to do it.

**~two years later~**

It was a random day and I was in my bus. My friends and I were all joking around. Suddenly, I saw this guy stumble as he came towards the end of the bus, looking for a seat; but it was full. I sighed internally and then checked myself. _I was sighing over Edward CULLEN? What the fuck was wrong with me? _


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Previously:It was a random day and I was in my bus. My friends and I were all joking around. Suddenly, I saw this guy stumble as he came towards the end of the bus, looking for a seat; but it was full. I sighed internally and then checked myself.** I was sighing over Edward CULLEN? What the fuck was wrong with me?**_

* * *

He was Edward Cullen. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Nothing special. Just a face in the crowd of Meyer Academy. I planned to talk to him, but he didn't show up the next day. Nor the day after that. I found myself awaiting his arrival.

I caught him one day when he was just entering a bus. He smiled at me, not the weird grin-ny one. The polite I-know-you-but-I-don't-know-you one. I simply asked him ''why don't you come sit at the back?'' and he replied with ''I don't know anyone.'' And then I suddenly noticed his eyes which were the most beautiful shade of brown. Like, wow. i mean, I can't even describe his eyes. Like hazel but not so hazel, like the color or chocolate milk, or the shade of cappuccino, eyes which were suddenly looking at me. I blushed and said 'blahh, come on I'll introduce you to everybody'' with a smile on my face.

My younger brother, Alec, was in grade 7 and knew Edward from being in the same football team (football as in soccer) and they did this weird handshake which made everybody roll their eyes at them. Edward fitted right in and everybody liked him.

Except it wasn't great. I had just realised that I HATED Edward Cullen. He made fun of me because of my buck teeth (which arn't that big *huff*). It wasn't funny. I was so aggravated at him, that the next day he came, I told everybody to stare at him. Like the penetrating, you are so dead gaze. At first he was amused, then he grew aggravated until he finally yelled 'what the hell, fuckers!'' I swear I've never laughed that that.

After that, we continued staring t him and that bloody dick chose me as his target. He continued to stare at me. At first, it was just staring. But then it turned to something else. I winked at him and in return he bit his lip. Then I dragged my tongue on my lower lip and he stared at my boobs. I rolled my eyes at him and he put his leg between my legs and jerked his head as if to say 'let's fuck already.' And I being the ''queen'' of sexy (please note the sarcasm) almost kicked his crotch. _Smooth move, Swan. _I still hated him.

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A/N: Hey guys (:

thanks to everyone who's reading ''my story'' and favourit-ing it.

and to the people who are reviewing, i really appreciate them but i would prefer it if you guys post from your account. it makes it easier to respond to the criticism (which, by the way, i'm open to) :P


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I hated him. I hated him so friggin' much. I had an ego, sue me.

I wanted to insult him so bad that I actually went on Google and researched about short jokes. Yep, I'm that cool. Also, in hopes of getting his attention, I started talking loudly, and I mean LOUDLY about my best friend Andy.

His father, Billy, was a psychiatrist and Katie's dad was a hand surgeon. We all knew each other because our fathers were best friends in college.

Charlie and René (my mom) were both public health specialists and worked with the government hence leaving me and my younger brother, Alec with my grandparents. We all lived in the same house.

So yea, getting back, I talked loudly about how sweet and hot Andy is, about how he has a band and their demo just came out which is amazing and blahh blahh.

Then I did something I'm not proud of. One day, I was home alone so I called Katie over and we had some drinks and we were all high. Then deciding that I wanted hear Edward's voice, I prank called him. I used Katie's phone and got the number from Alec's phone. I called him and he didn't answer so we went on my facebook and stalked him. I didn't have a crush on him at that instance but I was weirdly attracted to him. What, sue me he had a killer sense of humor which left my panties wet. I hated him. You ever hate someone so much that you don't know if you want to hit them in the face with a brick or screw them senseless? Yea me neither. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen was a first for me too.

I and Katie were laughing like hyenas about some random comment Ed made on his facebook profile picture when he called. I picked it up while laughing and he suddenly said 'Bella?' and because I'm so stupid, I said 'Aww, Edward. You recognised my voice?' while smiling goofily. He muttered something before saying 'you're drunk?' I could clearly heard the amusement in him voice and I barely managed some response before I realised that I had wandered in my balcony on the 3rd floor and when Katie made some offhand comment about how the moon was making goo goo eyes at her, we fell in a laughing mess and Edward disconnected the phone in the middle of our crazy antics.

When Katie returned home and I lay in my bed tired, almost ready to go to sleep, I saw a WhatsApp message on my phone from an unknown number. It was a random forward so I texted back:

B:_ um, who is this?_

E:** this is Edward. The one you called a while back?**

B**:**_ sorry about that, lol. How'd you get my number, though? :P_

**E: I have my ways ;)**

I don't remember what happened next but I remember waking up the next day with a smile on my face despite of having slept around 2 am.

**A/N: For those who don't know what WhatsApp is:**

**It is an app which is just like texting except it is more of an internet oriented thing and tells us if the person has seen the message and when did the person last check it. It's a lot like BBM except you don't need anything specific for it. And it's also very cheap XD**

**Everyone in India and Australia have one. Idk about Europeans and Americans or the Africans. It's really cool, though. You guys should try it. And thanks to the people who're reading my story. **


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

That was the start of many WhatsApp conversations between me and Edward. It started with random stuff like ''hey, I'm stuck on a question. Help me solve it?'' (Me) or ''what's the syllabus for the physics test?''(Him) which turned to ''I'm bored. Whatttup?'' or ''I can't sleep, entertain me?''

I was slowly falling for Ed. It was kinda hard not to, with his boyish smile and sexy-as-fuck sense of humour. I knew he didn't like me. And I was totally fine with it. He was amazing. He made my insides tickle and my panties wet with his crooked smile. His first sexy smile (noticed by me, of course) was after the day when we had flirted (seriously) for the first time. It went something like :-

B- *_some random shit*_

E-** Calm your tits :P**

B- _Done :P_

E- **How'd you do that? :P  
By taking off your bra? :P ;)**

B- _Think whatever you wanna think :P_

E- **I don't know that feeling :P**

B- _I'll lend you one of mine? Any color preferences? :P_

E- **How about the one you're wearing right now? :P**

I have never blushed that much. And it WAS the first time that Edward attracted me sexually which eventually led to me fantasizing about him fucking me in the every possible way while touching myself.

We grew closer. Often saying the inside stuff and then looking at each other to see if the other person got it or not. For example, once, Edward was pissing the shit out of me, like really pissing me off. And I told him to turn it down a notch otherwise I'll slap him. He didn't. And Isabella Swan is not the one to back down without doing the stuff she said so I high fived his face. I was honestly going for a playful one but I don't know what happened to me and I slapped him so hard that my palm hurt. Ed had his mouth open and his eyes wide, as if he couldn't believe that I had, indeed, slapped him. He played it off by saying 'Bella, don't hit so hard.'

It was actually in reference to yet another WhatsApp conversation-

B- _*slaps*_

E-** Bella, don't hit so hard **

B- _Aww, poor baby _

_Shall I kiss it better? :P_

E- **Of course :P**

B- _After I suck your dick, asshole XD_

E- **You break my heart **** :P**

Regardless to say, Edward Cullen wasn't the bane of my existence now. He was more like the reason for my smile.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_Previously: E- __**You break my heart **__**L**__** :P**_

_Regardless to say, Edward Cullen wasn't the bane of my existence now._

Edward and I grew closer, however, we rarely talked in school. None of us had the time. And that's when the teasing began. Matt and Riley were in my physics, chemistry and Matt was in my biology. Though it didn't matter cause none of them bothered to attend either. But once it happened to be that Alice and I were sitting together and Matt started teasing about Edward. He went all crazy about me being Mrs. Cullen and about our children. And me, being Isabella swan, started blushing like crazy which led to EVEN MORE teasing.

Edward was a great guy, the right amount of cute, friendly, sarcastic and polite. I would be lying if I say that I didn't want anything to happen between me and Edward. I wanted it. More than anything. But I knew that he wasn't into this kinda commitment stuff, which made me wonder if he talked to more girls like me, asking them for their bras; but I pushed that thought aside. How could I even think that? Edward wasn't that kinda guy.

I'm a shy person, only 'pretending' to be feisty so that no one even dares to takes advantage of me, and I'm talking about it with experience. I liked this guy in 7th grade and at that time, the whole class was against him, and since Bella fucking Swan attracts strays, Garret and I became good friends. Soon, he was hanging out with my social circle at lunch and that's when my friends told me that he talked trash about me. At first, I ignored it. I mean, how could I not? He was my friend. I was the one he cried in front of reminiscing about his dead dog when we read this novel that discussed the love between a pet and its owner. Long story short, he was indeed. And also, my ''friends'' wanted to be his instead. So we all parted ways and stuff. I don't regret it for 1 second, because everything that happens, happens for a reason.

What I mean to say is, I know what rejection feels like and I sure as hell don't wanna experience it again. Especially with Edward.

You know, sometimes you like someone physically, sometimes you like someone because of their intellect. With Edward, it was like the obscenely perfect mix which was like my own personal brand of heroin. He drove me crazy, to the bow-chikaa-wow-wow extent.

He was the guy you could take home to your parents, except he had a potty mouth; dirtier than the public toilets at concerts.

It's as if I can never remember what he said exactly because it all seems like I've dreamt the shit he said cause it's that perfect. Like for our prize distribution, I was up next and Edward was sitting next to me and he randomly said 'I knew you hated the performance.' To which I replied 'which one?'

'the one in which they spoofed **Its my life** by Bon Jovi'

I looked at him with my mouth open as I never recalled telling him that Jon Bon Jovi was my first crush and would always be.

'how'd you know?' I tried to say it casually but it came out a little forced. 'I pay attention, that's all.' He said with a wink.

I hastily changed the topic, not wanting to think about how easily he read me, 'that's an awfully large bald spot, Eddie boy.' I said.

'I have it only on my head if you know what I mean' he replied with a wink. I responded with a smack to his shoulder and in typical Bella fashion, swayed on my feet which resulted in me tightening my grip on his bicep, which I felt bulge out.

_Breathe in, breathe out._ I remember trying to tell myself as my breathing hitched and my glazed eyes met the dilated pupils of his, the beautiful brown color I had come to love nowhere in sight.

_Cosmo said that the pupils dilate when you're near the object of affection, right?_

I had no more time to think as I heard my name being called to receive the award. I was still a little disoriented from being in the close proximity of Edward. Not the physical kind; the one even stronger, the emotional proximity. It felt like the doors to my soul had been opened and he could see each and everything. I had to tell myself to not shy away, and look him squarely in the eyes; and I finally willed myself to let go.

Let go of the stupid promise I'd made to not let any guy inside my shell ever again. To let go of the pain I had been carrying around. To let go of the insecurities that had built over the time. And lastly, to let go the person I had become.

* * *

**A/N: this is far by the longest chapter i've written *phew***

**just a shout out to my beta Mammps, you girl, are truly awesome (:**


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 7

_Edward was laughing awkwardly and I could see a hint of lust in his eyes which vanished as quickly as it came, making me to doubt its existence._

Time passed. We still talked everyday via WhatsApp. But the conversations, unfortunately stayed off the boob topic. Edward and I became very good friends which resulted in a lot of loneliness on my part when he went for his cousin's wedding to some far off place. I shouldn't have felt lonely as I had a few cousins over from London and I had missed them terribly. Vladimir was my baby brother who was the apple of my eye being the youngest in our family at 5. I absolutely adored him and I'm glad that the feeling was mutual. And his elder sister, Jane was 11. She was the odd one in our bunch. The days passed while dancing to ''Gangnam Style'', playing monopoly, watching movies, and dancing our asses off on Brittany and Ke$ha songs.

But the nights were the ones when I missed Edward terribly. Night was the time when we talked the most. From what we did today to what we ate. He had only been gone for, 3 days and those 3 days without him felt like one of my senses had been taken away from me. Every message that came sent my heart into flutters as I hoped that it's my 'fifty' missing me from the other side of the country. But I knew that it was nearly impossible for him to text me or WhatsApp me 'cause of the shit network but my stupid heart, it just clang on to the hope which comes with the phrase '_nearly impossible'_. It didn't focus on 'impossible' but on the 'nearly'. And at that moment, I knew why I faced so many heartbreaks. It's because of the expectations. The expectations which should never have come to my mind were actually my hidden desires. So anyway, Edward DID text me, but unfortunately, we couldn't text for long. It was around 12:30 am and he WhatsApped saying he finally found a wifi and was telling me about how even though it was a small town, the scenery was fabulous and he even sent me a few pictures of it. I risked asking him for a picture and he happily obliged, which made me wonder why I was hesitant in the first place.

However, Vlad wasn't very happy when he learnt that Edward was a boy and I was paying more attention to Ed that Vlad. He told me to tell Ed that he thought he was a 'stupid cow and a moron' and that he should leave me alone. Edward thought this was funny and they both fought till Vlad burst into tears thinking Edward was gonna steal his sister. I told Edward to go and sleep or at least put me Vlad to sleep and that I would call him around 2 am.

Sadly, Vlad wanted me to sleep with him 'cause he missed me so much. Gah, he's adorable. Edward texted me a lot that night but I wasn't able to reply very often. He finally said 'what the crap, Bella? I text you after 3 days and you don't have any time for me?' I laughed at him and told him to feed this crap to somebody who might believe it.

But inside, I was jumping with joy.

He missed me.

HE missed me.

He missed ME.

He MISSED me.

HE MISSED ME.

It was when I finally admitted to myself that I maybe falling in love with a certain Edward Cullen.


End file.
